I accepted my fate while the shame in me protruded with every passing month. I kept vomiting any time I ate. It was as good as saying | passed through the first trimester in different forms of ailments: vomiting, spitting, early morning sickness, dizziness and headache. However, I was in good health during the second and third trimester though I didn’t stop vomiting till childbirth.
The only food item I ate without vomiting was pepper soup and it neither was readily available everyday nor was it affordable, but the doctor advised me to stick with it if it didn’t make me to throw up.I would have gone through a worse case if not for the free antenatal health care at the local government hospital. As if all that was not worse enough, the peak of my shame was marked by one event.
A sensitisation programnme was held in the secondary school where I taught. Fellow Corps members came to the school to lecture the students about sex education and pre-marital sex. After the programme, I proceeded to SS1 class where I was meant to teach. While teaching, I noticed the students were not concentrating and laughing behind me. I stopped teaching and demanded to know the reason behind their laughter.
They refused to tell me but after much threat that I would report them to the principal, a girl stood up and said her classmate told her I had pre-marital sex in camp and got pregnant with a bastard. The girl said she overheard a corps member that rented a flat in her father’s house telling another corper the story. Before the end of the day, the news had spread round the school.
All the same, I passed through the gestation period in hardship, pain and shame until delivery date. During gestation, I had developed a hatred for the baby, for coming to this world in order to put me to shame and disgrace. Maybe another reason why I hated the baby was because the father was nowhere to be found.
I had tried my best to look for him but it was as if the young handsome devil had disappeared into thin air. I blamed myself for chasing him away. Maybe if I had given him my mobile number, he would have called and I would have told him I was pregnant. Even if he had denied it and I am sure he would have, I would, at least, have a clear conscience that he was aware. He would know that there was a possibility that he was responsible and that might make him come back one day.
I passed through serious stigmatisation during my service year because people didn’t just talk at my back about my carelessness, but also my stupidity. Some said I had sex with so many men that I couldn’t figure out who was responsible for my pregnancy while others said they were very sure Azeez was responsible.
I couldn’t believe I did what I did!I classed myself as man with self-control who didn’t easily give in to temptation. I sat alone on my bed remembering the previous night’s incident. I couldn’t believe I did what I did! It was something I was not proud of and knewI could never tell Ifeoma because she would be disappointed in me.
Later that night, I couldn’t sleep, as the memories of the previous night came flooding back to me. After seeing that Suurat wore no panties, she raised the t-shirt and pulled it off. I became immediately aroused. Before I could look away or even think of taking any action, she clung unto me saying I should hold her because she was very cold.
Her body was soft like an infant’s. She had firm breasts with very dark nipples that any man would kill to touch. As she clung to me, I grabbed her like a hungry lion and took her to bed. We kissed like two wild animals in heat and made love like our lives depended on it. She moved and changed styles on bed severally. She was obviously more experienced than I was in bed. Without mincing words, I enjoyed every bit of it and wished Suurat was here in my bed at that moment.
Suurat and I continued our sexual relationship afterwards. Sometimes, she would come to my place immediately after school hours or come over to pass the night on other occasions. Before long, most people knew our little secret.
Then all of a sudden, after one weekend, Suurat was absent from school on Monday. I thought she was ill or maybe she just decided not to come. Then Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday went by and she still did not come to school.
I decided to ask some of her classmates if they knew where she lived. I found one girl who knew and she volunteered to take me there. When we got there, I didn’t have enough courage to go straight to their house so I sent the girl to go over there and ask if Suurat was home. She came back barely 3 minutes after leaving and said she was told that Suurat was out of town. I looked up her number on my mobile phone, and dialled it as I must have dialled it numerouss times in the last seventy-two hours.
There was no response, as usual.
Two days later, the ringing of my phone Woke me up. I received the call in a sleepy voice but became wideawake when I heard Suurat’s voice at the other end of the line. “Uncle, good morning,’ she said. Suurat, where have you been?
Her voice was mellow as she said, ‘Uncle, I just want to know if you are okay and to tell you not to think about me. I am safe and will soon be back. She ended the call and that was the last time I heard from her..