I Regret Getting Married But I Must Decide To Stay Married Or Loose Everything-Pls Advise

Hello ma,

My name is Felicia (not real name). I am 31 years old. I got married when I was 24 years to my boyfriend. Actually I got pregnant and my family insisted on marriage. My husband has never been a faithful man right from day one. That made me decide not to have another baby after my first child.

I mean, the behavior is bad. He is sleeping with several women. Sometimes, I read his text and I even see some women fighting each other over him. He is so promiscuous…I truly wish I knew him more before getting pregnant…I would not have found myself in this position.

Initially, when I complained about his cheating, he said he did not want to marry…that I used pregnancy to trap him. So, I can leave when I am tired. I admit, I should actually leave because this man has no respect for me.

The only thing he does is provide for our daughter. He barely gives me anything…that is not for food. I have only OND and I took my friend’s advise and decided to go back to school to get my HND. That afforded me the opportunity to forget about him and focus on my child and my education.

Being back in school, really helped. I made new friends. One of them, a single lecturer who is interested in me. But I told him that I cannot cheat on my husband even though he is doing the same to me.

All is going well for me. My husband began to notice I am happy, dressing well and he decided to stop me from going to school. He said he wants me to stay at home and look after our child and I should think of having a second child now since our first is now 6 years old.

I told him no, that my education is for me to better my life since he is not giving me money. He then agreed to pay me 250k every month as salary. Ma, that is very tempting but I am afraid of quitting my school cos I know education is important. Its the only thing giving me pure joy.

What if he changes his mind one day and maybe actually our marriage break up…I will have no education and surely that 250k will stop coming. So, I told him no…then he said I should choose between the marriage or school. That if I choose school, he will divorce me …and marry someone who will take care of our daughter and give him more children.

I told him what if I do online school….he said no. That he wants full concentration. I am confused. Do I give up school to look after my daughter and have more children with 250k allowance or give up the marriage and further my education?

When I told my lecturer, the one interested in me…he said education is better…he promised to sponsor my education if I leave my husband and marry him. Please help me decide…what option is best for me….I really don’t mind loosing my marriage cos the marriage is not even a real one …he is always with other women…

But how do I know this lecturer will keep to his promise and sponsor my education? Is a bird in hand worth two in the bush? Should I take up my husband’s offer…remain in a miserable marriage and raise children and forget my education or follow my lecturer and loose my marriage?

Anonymous